Zevran Arainai

We aren't talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?

Alistair does not approve of Zevran, for various reasons, first is, he was to kill the Wardens, and he could do it again, now that he gained Warden’s “trust. Second is, Zevran is a huge flirt, he does it with everyone, it doesn’t matter if female or male. And third one, if Alistair is in love with Warden, … there is so called Jealousy. Aside that, Zevran is lot like Morrigan, the two are the “evil” of the group, and Alistair and Leilana are the good of the group. So they actually clash, he never comes to trust Zevran, in some cases it could also be founded, because if you don’t reach enough of approval from the elf, when you get attacked by the Crows, he turns on you and tries to kill you.

But when it comes to dialogues with those two? To listen to those, I run around doing nothing just so they would engage in talking. Some made me laugh so much I had to pause everything. There is also a dialogue, that I didn’t get, because my Warden is faithful to Alistair, the one where both Zevran and Alistair are in the relationship with her… and that one just made me cry from laughter because of their reactions.

Dialogues

Zevran: So are you a very religious man, Alistair? I am curious. I believe I heard you say you were raised in an abbey?
Alistair: I was raised in a castle. I was schooled in the abbey. As far as being religious... I don't know. Not especially. What about you? Not in your line of work, I expect.
Zevran: Why do you say that? I happen to be quite devoted, in my way, as most Antivans are.
Alistair: Truly? But you kill people. For money.
Zevran: And I ask forgiveness for my sins from the Maker every chance I get. What manner of monster do you think I am?
Alistair: But... you ask forgiveness and then you go right on with your sinning?
Zevran: The Maker has never objected. Why should you?
Alistair: I... have no idea.
Zevran: Well there you go. Perhaps you ought to think about asking for a little forgiveness yourself, hm?
-------
Alistair: So why would the Crows send you, Zevran?
Zevran: Is there some reason why they should not?
Alistair: Plenty of reasons. Starting with the fact that you weren't exactly the best they had, were you?
Zevran: Slander and lies. For shame, Alistair.
Alistair: I'm not an idiot. Well, not most of the time. You're no raw recruit, but I've seen you fight. You're no master of combat, by any means.
Zevran: Assuming that I intended a fair fight, that would indeed be a problem.
Alistair: But the Crows must have master assassins, the way you describe them. Men with years and years of experience. Why not send them?
Zevran: Why not, indeed? It is a mystery for the ages.
Alistair: Oh, I get it. You're not going to tell me.
Zevran: Morrigan said you were sharp. No liar, she.
-------
Zevran: Still with the stern glances, Alistair?
Alistair: You didn't answer my question. About why the Crows wouldn't send their best man.
Zevran: So for that I must suffer all these fearsome glares? You are cruel to subject me to such torture.
Alistair: If you aren't telling me, there must be a reason.
Zevran: If you must know, the masters do not often take contracts outside Antiva. And I made the best bid.
Alistair: Best bid?
Zevran: We agree to pay the guild a portion of whatever the contract offers. The one who agrees to pay the most gets the contract, so long as the guild deems them worthy.
Alistair: And they thought you were worthy?
Zevran: Against a pair of Grey Warden recruits? Apparently so.
Alistair: Were there many who wanted the contract?
Zevran: None. You are still Grey Wardens, after all, and even in Antiva, killing members of your order is considered... impolitic. It made the guild's decision considerably easier, I imagine.
Alistair: Well, that's comforting, somehow.
-------
Alistair: So those... designs you have all over your back...
Zevran: They're called tattoos. And I have them in many more places than just on my back, my friend.
Alistair: Err... right. I hear that someone gets those by having needles put the ink under your skin?
Zevran: A great many needles, amongst other things. Yes, that would be true.
Alistair: Didn't that hurt?
Zevran: Ohhh, yes, yes. But it is not so bad, in truth. If you like, I could give you one. I learned a bit of the art myself in Antiva.
Alistair: Oh, no. No, I don't think so.
Zevran: Come, it will just be a small one. Perhaps the symbol of the Grey Wardens? Something manly! Where are my needles?
Alistair: Um... maybe some other time. I'm... I'm going to go stand over here, now.
-------
Alistair: The stories we hear down here about the Crows... they're not true, are they? They all sound a little far-fetched.
Zevran: I cannot say. What have you heard? In Antiva, we hear that Fereldan men cannot sleep without a dog in their bed. Is that true?
Alistair: A dog? No, of course not. We value our dogs, it's part of our history.
Zevran: Oh. Perhaps it was simply a reference to your Fereldan women, then?
Alistair: *Laughs* Well, now that you mention it...
Zevran: But those stories you heard? All true.
Alistair: Really. Even the ones that talk about how you all... you know... get paid to...
Zevran: Especially those ones.
Alistair: Wow. I am totally in the wrong order.
-------
Alistair: I've been thinking about those ink drawings, what did you call them? Tattoos? Are you... still willing to do one?
Zevran: Oh-ho! You've decided to take the plunge, have you? What is a little pain, am I right?
Alistair: I'm not worried about that. I think they look interesting, though I'd want mine... smaller. When can you do it?
Zevran: Not so fast, my friend. There is an entire ritual to how this is done, do you not know? First I need to bathe you in a mixture of olives and rosewater.
Alistair: You need to... bathe me? That seems... odd.
Zevran: No, no, no, not at all. It needs to be worked into your skin, preparing it to receive the ink. The massage is quite pleasurable, do not worry. You are in good hands.
Alistair: The... massage? You're... having me on, aren't you?
Zevran: I might be. I might not be. Shall I describe the rest of the ritual to you?
Alistair: Hmm. No. No, on second thought I'll just pass.
Zevran: *Laughs* Excellent choice!
-------
Alistair: As a Crow, you were an assassin in Antiva, right? Professionally?
Zevran: Technically speaking, I still am. Somewhat between jobs, as it turns out.
Alistair: So how much did you charge to... you know... kill someone? Was it very expensive? Did it depend on who they were?
Zevran: Such curiosity. Are you thinking of having someone murdered, my friend Alistair? Or are you considering a career change?
Alistair: No, neither. It just seems odd to me that you could make a living doing that. Or that you would need an entire guild just to handle so many... jobs.
Zevran: Ahhh. Assassination in Antiva is a tradition. It is more efficient than an election, as we say. "Politics and death go together like kisses and love-making." It costs a great deal depending on how experienced the Crow is... and how difficult the target is to kill. You? I would charge perhaps five thousand andris for you.
Alistair: Five thousand andris? Is that a lot?
Zevran: Mmm, not really, no.
-------
Alistair: So I have a question for you, Zevran. You're here, at least in part, to get away from the Crows, right?
Zevran: That is indeed true.
Alistair: So when this is over, what do you intend to do with yourself? You can't go back to Antiva, I assume.
Zevran: What I do depends in large part upon your fellow Grey Warden. I am not a free man, as it were.
Alistair: Yes, yes, but what if you could do whatever you wanted?
Zevran: What makes you think I intend to go anywhere? / (If the Warden is in a romance with Zevran) Why should I go anywhere? You Grey Wardens are the epitome of charm and hospitality.
Alistair: So you do intend to go back to the Crows?
Zevran: I said no such thing. I think I should stay where I am. Ferelden is a marvelous country.
Alistair: Why don't I believe you?
Zevran: You're not much of a patriot, are you? Well I'm not going to listen to such slander of my new home. Off with you, then.
(If Alistair's heritage is revealed. However, it seems if the Warden is in a romance with Zevran, the other dialogue will be chosen instead.)

Zevran: Oh, I don't know. Aren't you going to be king? Perhaps you have people you need killed?
Alistair: I probably do, yes.
Zevran: See? It's that sort of thinking that makes me think I have a future in this fine country of yours.
Alistair: That's assuming I would hire you.
Zevran: That's the lovely thing about kings. They make for good business, as the client or the target.
Alistair: And people wonder why someone might not want to be king.
-------
(If the Warden is in a romance with Alistair)

Alistair: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Zevran: You may ask, but I may choose not to answer.
Alistair: Fair enough. Have you... had very many women in your time? I mean... you seem like the sort of man who would...
Zevran: I have indulged from time to time, perhaps, when my interest is not elsewhere.
Alistair: Right. Well, how do you... woo them? Is there a... technique? Or...
Zevran: "Woo them?" Are you quite serious?
Alistair: Er... yes? I don't know what else to call it.
Zevran: So let me get this straight. You have... never wooed? Not once? You are woo-less, as it were?
Alistair: All right. Bad idea. Never mind.
-------
(If the Warden slept with Alistair)

Zevran: Might I offer you a bit of advice, my good friend Alistair?
Alistair: I like my hair the way it is, thank you.
Zevran: Truly? As you wish... though my advice is regarding something else completely. It has to do with your recent... exertions with your fellow Grey Warden that I overheard.
Alistair: My...? Oh.
Zevran: It did seem as if you just got going when all grew quiet. You are... feeling all right, yes? Perhaps you are tired?
Alistair: We aren't talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?
Zevran: I have some roots from home that you may chew if you need energy. As for volume, perhaps you ought to try arching your--
Alistair: Whoa! Whoa! Awkward!
Zevran: You Fereldans are so finicky. How will you ever learn how to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?
Alistair: Not listening! La la la la la!
-------
(If a female Warden is in a romance with Zevran)

Alistair: So let me ask you something. What are your intentions with her?
Zevran: You speak of her as if she is not present. She is just right over there, you know...
Alistair: Don't dodge the question. I'm serious.
Zevran: Is this brotherly concern I detect? Or something else? Perhaps you are concerned for me, yes?
Alistair: I am just asking what your intentions are. You did try to kill us all, remember?
Zevran: And now I owe her a blood debt, as she has spared my life. It has brought us... closer together.
Alistair: Is that a smirk? Are you smirking at me?
Zevran: I assure you, ser, that I am not smirking. No smirking here, no.
Alistair: Well, just... watch yourself, then. I'll be keeping an eye on you.
(If the Warden is also in a romance with Alistair)

Alistair: So let me ask you something. What are your intentions with her?
Zevran: You speak of her as if she is not present. She is just right over there, you know...
Alistair: Don't dodge the question. I'm serious.
Zevran: Mmm. Do I detect a bit of jealousy there? Feeling territorial, are we?
Alistair: I am just asking what your intentions are. You did try to kill us all, remember?
Zevran: And now I owe her a blood debt, as she has spared my life. It has brought us... closer together.
Alistair: Is that a smirk? Are you smirking at me?
Zevran: I assure you, ser, that I am not smirking. No smirking here, no.
Alistair: Well, just... watch yourself, then. I'll be keeping an eye on you.
-------
(If Alistair's heritage is revealed)

Zevran: You know, Alistair, Antiva has a long tradition of royal bastards.
Alistair: You don't say?
Zevran: Oh, yes. They've led wars to claim the throne. Some of them have become kings. In fact, I'd say the current royal line in Antiva stems from bastard blood several times over.
Alistair: Well aren't you just chock full of useless trivia today.
Zevran: Sadly, whenever a royal bastard rears their head in public and declares themselves, it often goes poorly for them.
Alistair: Let me guess: they get assassinated?
Zevran: Only the very popular ones.
Alistair: And the unpopular ones?
Zevran: Well, they get by somehow, I'm sure. There was one fellow who did quite well working as a prostitute based on his uncanny resemblance to the king. Charged a fortune.
Alistair: Couldn't afford him, I take it?
Zevran: That cynicism will serve you well, my friend. Hold onto it.
-------
(If Alistair will become king)

Alistair: So what do you have to say about me becoming king? I suppose you don't care?
Zevran: No, no, I think it is quite marvelous. A most unusual way to pick a king, however.
Alistair: Unusual? I guess it was a bit... unorthodox, even by our standards. Why? How does a king get picked in Antiva?
Zevran: Oh, he or she is elected, of course. Provided they make it to the election without being first assassinated.
Alistair: Yes, from what you said that seems to happen a lot there. Makes me wonder why anyone would even want to be king.
Zevran: It is considered a very brave and impressive thing to attempt to become king of Antiva. Sometimes nobody steps forward at all, sadly.
Alistair: And what happens then?
Zevran: Why, we start assassinating those who we think should run until someone does. Never let it be said that the Crows are not patriots.