Morrigan

You're some sort of...sneaky...witch-thief!

Alistair and Morrigan don’t like each other, take account on this, Morrigan is an apostate while Alistair was trained to become a Templar, they are enemies. He accepts her in the group because Warden (I shall call the playable character like this) decided to have her with them, and he actually can admit that Morrigan is a great asset in the battle, but still that doesn’t make him like her.

Because of this, when the Warden (if she is a female) asks Alistair to perform the Dark Ritual (i.e. have sex with Morrigan, so that both Alistair and Warden can survive killing the Archdemon), he has quite a reaction to it. That dialogue made me crack (even if it was glitched, I made Anora queen, and Alistair renounced to the throne, but he still has spoken like he was a king). And during the sex scene, it’s seen how Alistair doesn’t trust Morrigan, at how he is in his underwear on the bed, and she is coming closer, how he tries to move back till he has nowhere to escape. In Dragon age Inquisition, if you did the dark ritual and managed to sync your saves, you can actually meet their son at Skyhold. His name is Kieran.

But what I love the most of this relationship is their banter, really, those two made me crack from the first moment they met, and then when traveling with them, it was just hilarious, I think that actually the sassiness of these two, hooked me on the game before I begin to actually appreciate the greatness that the game itself it is.

Dialogues:

Morrigan: I have a wonder, Alistair, if you will indulge me.
Alistair: Do I have a choice?
Morrigan: Of the two of you that remain, are you not the senior Grey Warden here? I find it curious that you allow another to lead, while you follow.
Alistair: You find that curious, do you?
Morrigan: In fact, you defer to a new recruit. Is this a policy of the Grey Wardens? Or simply a personal one?
Alistair: What do you want to hear? That I prefer to follow? I do.
Morrigan: You sound so very defensive.
Alistair: Couldn't you crawl into a bush somewhere and die? That would be great, thanks.

(If Alistair's heritage is revealed)
Morrigan: I was just looking for some of your father in you.
Alistair: Leave me alone.

(If Alistair is hardened)
Alistair: Maybe you'd prefer to lead? That would be worth a good laugh, for a while.
Morrigan: You sound so very defensive.
Alistair: Couldn't you crawl into a bush somewhere and die? That would be great, thanks.
-------
Morrigan: So I take it you did not enjoy your templar training?
Alistair: That's directed at me, I take it?
Morrigan: Do you see any others about who have failed at their religious instruction?
Alistair: I didn't fail. I was recruited into the Grey Wardens.
Morrigan: And if you had not been recruited? What would have happened, instead?
Alistair: I would have turned into a drooling lunatic, slaughtered the grand cleric and run through the streets of Denerim in my small clothes, I guess.
Morrigan: Your self-awareness does you credit.
Alistair: I thought you'd like that.
-------
Morrigan: Have a care where your eyes linger, Alistair.
Alistair: Yes, well don't worry. It's not what you think.
Morrigan: I see.
Alistair: I was looking at your nose.
Morrigan: And what is it about my nose that captivates you so?
Alistair: I was just thinking that it looks exactly like your mother's.
Morrigan: I hate you so much.
Alistair: What?
Morrigan: Never mind.
-------
Morrigan: You... do not truly think I look as my mother does, do you?
Alistair: Have you really been thinking about that all this time?
Morrigan: I am simply curious.
Alistair: And not insecure in the slightest, I'm sure.
Morrigan: I think I look nothing like her.
Alistair: I don't know. Give it a few hundred years and it'll be a spot-on match.
Morrigan: I said that I look nothing like her!
Alistair: All right. Got it. Totally different. I see that now.
-------
Alistair: So let's talk about your mother, for a moment.
Morrigan: I'd rather talk about your mother.
Alistair: There's nothing to talk about. And besides, isn't your mother a scary witch who lives in the middle of a forest? Much more interesting.
Morrigan: To you, perhaps. You would find the moss growing upon a stone interesting.
Alistair: You know what's more interesting than that? Apostates. Mages outside of the Tower. That's illegal, you know.
Morrigan: You did not read that in a book somewhere, did you? I hope the small letters did not strain you overmuch.
Alistair: Or we could not talk about your mother. That works for me.
-------
Alistair: So tell me something, Morrigan. Did you live there in that forest your entire life?
Morrigan: I left it on occasion, but I always returned. Why? Is that so strange? It was my home.
Alistair: But it was just you and your mother there? No one else?
Morrigan: Mother occasionally had... company.
Alistair: What? Company? Do I even want to ask?
Morrigan: No. You really don't.
-------
Alistair: Why do you always go on about how stupid I am? I'm not stupid, am I?
Morrigan: If you need to ask the question...
Alistair: Because it hurts my manly feelings, you know. All one of them.
Morrigan: Then I'll be sure to write you an apology once all of this is over.
Alistair: I was educated by the Chantry. I studied history. They don't make stupid templars.
Morrigan: Then I must have been mistaken. I'm very impressed.
Alistair: No you're not. You're not even listening to me.
Morrigan: My, you are smarter than you look after all. Your Chantry must have been very proud.
-------
Alistair: All right. I've come up with one, a question that you can't answer.
Morrigan: Are you talking to me?
Alistair: That's right. You think you're so smart? I've got an academic question that I bet you won't be able to answer.
Morrigan: Oh, I doubt that.
Alistair: So tell me, then: what was the name of Andraste's husband?
Morrigan: This is a religious question, not an academic one.
Alistair: You're joking, right? A five year-old could answer that question. Do you not know more than a child?
Morrigan: I care nothing for your religion. And this game of yours is over.
Alistair: Oh, how the mighty have crumbled.
-------
(If the Warden is in a relationship with Morrigan)

Alistair: So what's the deal with you and him, anyway? Dare I ask?
Morrigan: Him? Him who? Is this supposed to mean something to me?
Alistair: You know exactly who I'm talking about. Mister Let's-Make-Kissy-Faces over there.
Morrigan: My, my. You are jealous, aren't you? Did I take your favorite Grey Warden away from you?
Alistair: What? I'm not jealous! I'm horrified.
Morrigan: Those blushing cheeks of yours tell a different tale
Alistair: These blushing cheeks are terrified that you'll suck all the blood out of them once you're done with him.
Morrigan: If I feel the need to suck on anything of yours, Alistair, you'll be the first to know.
Alistair: That... was so not what I meant.
Morrigan: Perhaps we should go and tell him together of your touching concerns? Perhaps he'll pay more attention to you if you ask nicely.
Alistair: Uh-huh. I think we're done here.
Morrigan: Done before you started, in fact.
-------
(If the Warden is in a relationship with Alistair)

Morrigan: I do wonder. Is it permissible for two Grey Wardens to... oh, what is the word I search for?
Alistair: Caboodle?
Morrigan: Fraternize.
Alistair: What's wrong with fraternizing?
Morrigan: It seems most undisciplined, for an organization that claims it will do whatever is necessary to end the darkspawn threat.
Alistair: One thing has nothing to do with the other.
Morrigan: Oh no? And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?
Alistair: That is a... a ridiculous question.
Morrigan: And I have my answer. Most kind of you.
-------
(After Alistair's heritage is revealed)

Morrigan:
There is one thing I do not understand, Alistair.
(Alternate) I have something to ask you.
Alistair: Just the one thing?
Morrigan: About you, perhaps. Why the deception over your parentage?
Alistair: I'd figure you'd be the sort who knows all about deception.
Morrigan: I do. And what use the deception might have had ended when King Cailan perished, did it not?
Alistair: Maybe. I guess I was sort of hoping that would go away.
Morrigan: The truth does not "go away".
Alistair: I didn't say it was a good plan.
-------
(After completing Alistair's Family)

Morrigan: So you met this sibling of yours?
Alistair: Half-sister, but yes.
Morrigan: And she turned out to be an insufferable hag?
Alistair: You'd have liked her. You two have a lot in common.
Morrigan: And you let her berate you? Without punishment?
Alistair: It's moments like this when I truly appreciate the difference between you and me.
Morrigan: (Scoffs) 'Tis moments like this when I truly wonder at the difference between you and a toadstool.

(Alternate)
Morrigan: And you made a promise to help her?
Alistair: Err... yes?
Morrigan: Why would you do such a thing? This woman is a parasite who will appreciate nothing you do for her, you know this!
Alistair: It's moments like this when I truly appreciate the difference between you and me.
Morrigan: (Scoffs) 'Tis moments like this when I truly wonder at the difference between you and a toadstool.

(Alternate)
Morrigan: And you gave the woman money?
Alistair: Err... yes?
Morrigan: Why would you do such a thing? This woman is a parasite who will appreciate nothing you do for her, you know this!
Alistair: It's moments like this when I truly appreciate the difference between you and me.
Morrigan: (Scoffs) 'Tis moments like this when I truly wonder at the difference between you and a toadstool.
-------
(After completing Broken Circle)

Alistair: So tell me, was the Tower of Magi everything you thought it would be?
Morrigan: Abominations running rampant? Templars ready to slaughter every mage in sight? Yes, it rather met all my expectations.
Alistair: You don't think you might have been better off getting your training there? Instead of whatever your mother taught you?
Morrigan: You're right. My mother didn't nearly have as many abominations running about. That certainly would have improved my education.
Alistair: Hmm. I'll give you that one.
Morrigan: I'm so relieved.
-------
(After a female Warden ends romance with Alistair.)

Morrigan: Am I to understand that you two have ended your relationship?
Alistair: Shut up! That is none of your business.
Morrigan: What? No questions allowed? You do not wish your motivations-
Alistair: I said shut up! I will run this sword through you, I'm not joking.
Morrigan: Oh, I see. Most serious then.
Alistair: This discussion is over.
-------
(If Alistair is to become king)

Alistair: So you've heard, I hope? How I'm going to be king? With a crown and everything.
Morrigan: Proud of yourself, are you?
Alistair: Well, they don't let just anyone be king, you know. They don't let evil forest witches be king for instance.
Morrigan: There was a Ferelden king once who drooled on himself in such volume that he required a constant attendant to wipe his chin in court.
Alistair: You're making that up.
Morrigan: Not at all. The kings of old would be pleased to see their bloodline has not strayed very far from its roots.
-------
(During Warden's Keep)

Alistair: Soldier's Peak. Looks like it's seen better days. Better centuries more like.
Morrigan: Once the Wardens flourished, their ranks full, their calibre certain. Now they even accept people like you, Alistair.
Alistair: Hey!